Breaking Up with Burnout: How to Stick to New Year’s Resolutions

The idea behind New Year’s resolutions is so appealing: It’s the perfect time to make big life changes! What better time to change our bad habits to healthier ones than at the beginning of the year, right?

But, making lofty resolutions that end up with a shorter shelf life than leftover Christmas cookies is a cliché for a reason: we tend to burnout before February rolls around.

Why do we drop our New Year’s resolutions so fast?

Our bodies and brains hate change. Objective number one is to conserve energy wherever it can and, because our body is smart, it knows that one of the biggest energy sucks is change. To thwart change, it immediately becomes resistant, making the whole process more effort for you. Your body is trying to do you a favor, it’s just really bad at it.

Since none of us enjoy managing stress and the extra struggle that comes with change, we often force ourselves to try to hit our ultimate goal immediately instead of working on it over time. But, unfortunately, our bodies aren’t nearly as excited about this 0 to 60 strategy as we are, so it exhausts us to save energy.

For real, lasting change, you need to do it in such a way that balances pushing forward and respecting the amount of energy your body has.

So, how do we do this? Change doesn’t happen overnight, just like how you didn’t form your old habits overnight. So, let’s go step by step and break down the six stages of change so you know how it works and how you can get through it!

Getting Started with Realistic Goals

The first three stages of change are pre-contemplation, contemplation, and preparation.

• Stage 1: Pre-contemplation: You aren’t aware of the problem that needs changing yet, so you aren’t thinking about changing.

• Stage 2: Contemplation: Now you know there’s a problem, and you’re weighing the pros and cons of whether you’re going to pursue change or not.

• Stage 3: Preparation: You’ve decided it’s time to change, so you’re getting organized and planning so you can address the problem, change your behavior, and succeed.

While you’re moving through these stages, it's important to be realistic with the goal you’re setting. Don’t plan to go full speed toward the finish line from the start. No one can sustain that kind of pace, and anyone who tries says, ‘forget it!’ after the first week or two.

Instead, look at your ultimate goal, break it down into smaller steps, and give yourself a bit more time than you think you need to reach each milestone. Planning for incremental change like this will help you stick with it and eventually achieve your goal. If you plan on a healthy pace during the preparation stage, you’ll build momentum from the start and give yourself a significant self-confidence boost every time you pass a milestone.

Making it Happen

Most people think of stage 4 as the only part of change.

• Stage 4: Action: You’re changing! You’re actively modifying your behavior to fix your problem by following the plan you made in preparation.

But it’s important to remember another vital stage you need to plan for.

• Stage 5: Maintenance: You’re repeatedly choosing to do the new, healthy behavior instead of the old, problematic one.

It’s not easy to maintain a new behavior so make sure to help yourself out. Surround yourself with supportive people, set reminders to stay on track, and remember that it gets easier and easier every time you choose to maintain change.

 Accepting Setbacks as Part of the Process

• Stage 6: Relapse: Because change is hard, you go back to your old behavior, especially when you’re stressed or tired.

If you’re anything like me, stages 1 through 5 got you really excited for change, and stage 6 felt like a kick in the pants. “Relapse is a part of the process? Why waste my time if I’m just going to go back to the start?”

Before you get too upset, having a relapse be an actual part of the process is really good news. Don’t believe me? Well, I think about it like this: If relapse is natural, I am not weak or lazy for experiencing it, so I should be kind to myself when it happens and just keep trying. 

Just because we hit relapse doesn’t mean we should give up or beat ourselves up. It also doesn’t mean that we’re starting over! Relapse can be a really useful tool for moving forward and also help us with overcoming perfectionism. I don’t know about you, but I am not a perfect planner. I can’t make a perfect outline of how I will handle change on the first try, so when I do hit relapse, I use it to reflect.

I relapsed for a reason, so what is it? Maybe I need to keep a particular food out of the house or start working out first thing in the morning, so I get it out of the way. Maybe a stressful event threw me off, and I just need to give myself some grace and try again. Take it for the learning experience that it is, and know you are still better off than before.

Your body and I agree on one thing: we don’t want you to burn out, so remember to take small steps, give yourself some grace along the way, and take time to reflect so you can grow.