Five Ways to Manage Your Stress
Stress affects us on a deeper level than we often recognize. We feel it in our bodies, tightening our muscles and draining our energy. It comes out in our relationships with us accidentally snapping at loved ones and even hurts our relationship with ourselves.
The key to manage your stress is making life changes that help us have a better mindset. So here are five practical, ‘wow, I can actually do these things’ kinds of steps you can take to feel less stressed.
#1: Delegate
Public Service Announcement: You CANNOT do it all.
Give your spouse, children, and co-workers a chance to step up and help out with tasks. Not only is it going to help get some things off your plate to reduce stress, but it’s also good for your relationships to trust others to take care of things you need help with.
Mission Critical Information: Once you’ve delegated something, it's vital that you don’t criticize how it’s done. Firstly, it discourages others from being someone you can delegate to in the future, but more importantly, if you are focusing on how they are doing the task, you haven’t actually moved it off your plate. So, give it away and leave it alone.
#2: Set Boundaries
You have a lot going on in your life, so to balance all of those things better and respect your finite resources (like time and energy), you need to start creating healthy boundaries.
Setting boundaries with others, and even with yourself, helps reduce stress by setting clear expectations for what you say yes to in your life and what you say no to. Expectations like this reduce uncertainty and provide an amount of predictability that takes you from, “I have no idea how this situation is going to go and that’s scary,” to “I’m not sure what’s going to happen in this situation, but because I have boundaries, I know I can react to it in a way that is protective for me.”
#3: Self Care Activities
Ah yes, the infamous yet mysterious self-care. Before you Google “Self Care Activities” to figure out what you’re ‘supposed to do,’ this is all you need to know.
Self care isn’t an activity. It’s your intent.
There is no one activity everyone on the planet can do that is defined as self care. It’s a highly individual thing. To figure out what works for you, think about what activities calm or energize you. What fills you up?
After you figure out what activities work for you, make sure to be intentional when you do them. Even the simplest things can be self care with the right intent.
Say, for example, that you’re in the shower after a long day. You could go through your cleaning routine without another thought, holding onto the day’s stress, or you could be intentional about relaxing. Think about the warmth of the water and the calming sound of it pattering on the floor. Of course, it doesn’t always need to be a self-care activity, but my point is that it can be with the right intent.
#4: Connect with Others
Whether introverted, extroverted or something in between – we humans are social creatures. We need connection to sustain ourselves.
Think of a friend you’d like to see, someone you feel comfortable being yourself with. Find a few times you’re available and let them know you’d like to talk with them soon. Whether it's over Zoom, on the phone, or in person, think about ways to connect meaningfully.
Two easy things you can do are:
Practice active listening. Hear about what is going on in their lives or ask them about something they are passionate about. Really listen to understand what’s going on with their heart, not just to respond to what they’re saying.
Be honest. Let them know if you need to process something specific with them or if you want to relax by telling them about a subject or activity you love. Being upfront with what would help you gives them a chance to be supportive and actively listen to you, too.
#5: Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
One of the best long-term solutions to stress is to re-wire your brain to be calm and think positively by practicing mindfulness and gratitude.
Practice gratitude by listing three things you’re thankful for every day. It can be big things, but it can be something small, too. For example, being thankful for a cup of hot coffee and getting off work a few minutes early is just as valid as being grateful for your spouse or kids for this exercise. Just like self care, it’s less about ‘what’ you’re thankful for and more about being grateful in general.
Practice mindfulness by using all of your senses during an activity in your day. For example, pour your morning cup of coffee and focus on how the liquid hits the bottom of the cup, smell the delicious aroma, taste the bitterness, etc. Engage all of your senses. This helps you ground yourself into the moment, helping reduce depression and anxiety.
When you start to feel stressed, work through these five steps and remember: it all starts with being intentional.
