3 Ways to Increase Self Respect
Boundaries
Boundaries often get a bad wrap because they feel inconvenient. When we set boundaries with others, we have to say ‘no’ to something that person wants or needs, which feels uncomfortable for us. When we set boundaries with ourselves, we often deny ourselves the comfort of a bad habit we’ve settled into. Even though it can feel inconvenient and uncomfortable, good boundaries are a form of self-respect because they create safety through protecting our limited resources like time, space, and energy.
Identifying what boundaries you need is an excellent way to start understanding how to respect yourself more. “Am I disrespecting myself by overbooking my time and draining my energy?” “Am I letting others invade my personal space and make me feel uncomfortable?” Learning where you let things slide too often and addressing them with yourself and others is a form of protection. Even though it can feel hard to hold onto those boundaries initially, it will help you identify things in your life that aren’t serving you and help you respect yourself more over time.
2. Super Woman Pose
When you need a confidence boost before a big exam, meeting, or date, I want you to go to a mirror, stand with your feet roughly one foot apart, and put your hands on your hips. Next, pull your shoulders back just a little, tilt your head up at a 45-degree angle, and take a good gander at how awesome you look.
It might feel silly at first, but putting your body into a confident stance helps you see yourself as powerful and physiologically tells your body, “I’m a badass!”
I have a very technical term for this… the Super Woman Pose. For some, it’s served as a significant confidence boost before a big event and even helps them increase self-confidence in everyday life. While the science behind why this works isn’t solid yet, and there are mixed results depending on who you are, it can be a great addition to a daily routine for some people. As a low-risk activity, it can’t hurt to try, so pose every day this week and see if you feel the benefits!
3. Speak up about the Small Stuff
We hear people say, “Let go of the small stuff,” a lot, and that has its place, but there are plenty of things we tell ourselves are too small to speak up about that are really important. Letting your voice be heard is a game-changer for your confidence, so it’s time to address what matters to you, even if you don’t think anyone else will care.
Did someone say your name wrong? Tell them and teach them how to say it correctly.
What about if the barista messed up your coffee order? Tell them it isn’t what you asked for and get the right one.
Did someone make an assumption about you that makes you feel uncomfortable? Correct them and ask them not to do it again.
These things can feel small, but standing up for ourselves in any amount is a grand gesture of self-respect. There’s nothing bad about correcting others when they are wrong about something that matters to you. It isn’t about their reaction. It’s about knowing you are worthy of your own protection.
While you work on your boundaries, try the Wonder Woman pose, and speak up about the small things, remember that these acts of self-respect are helping you build a stronger relationship with yourself. Feeling worthwhile and confident is just around the corner!
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