It's Time to RESET: How Therapy Helps Feelings of Emptiness

If you’re wondering if it’s time for you or a loved one to see a therapist, you’ve come to the right blog. This is a part of my "It's Time to RESET," blog series, where I unpack the RESET acronym and talk about when it's time to pursue therapy. For this blog, I’m diving into what it’s like to experience feelings of emptiness and showcasing how therapy can help.

If you missed the opening blog and you're interested in what RESET means, check out my previous blogs, "How to Know If I Need Therapy", How Therapy Helps Restlessness, and How Therapy Helps Over-Sensitivity.

What does it feel like to be Empty?

Have you ever seen a tree during the winter? In Minnesota, where I’m from, trees shed their leaves, conserve the resources they need to survive, and then wait out the long, cold months.

They don’t grow.

They don’t produce leaves or fruits.

They sit, and wait.

It isn’t a good thing or a bad thing. Everything is simply in a time of pause while the tree waits until spring when it is warm enough to grow again.

Emptiness in a person feels a lot like being a tree during the winter. Whether it started because of an external circumstance or an internal shift, it’s like the mind is waiting for the end of a long, cold season. It’s waiting to overcome a time when nothing is appealing, or even unappealing. It just… is. It’s kind of “blah”.

One of the best ways to identify if someone is suffering from emptiness is through their motivation.

It’s more than just lacking the motivation to do work or school. (Let’s be honest, we all lose the drive to sit at our desks and get stuff done from time to time. Even I would rather be relaxing on my porch or doing my favorite hobby right now.) But it’s the distinct lack of motivation in general that shows how numb we feel. It takes away even the drive to do the things we enjoy, spend time with the people we love, or (in more extreme cases) to take care of ourselves properly. Everything good, bad, and in between in life feels one note, unexciting, and unimportant.

Why would someone who feels empty not be in therapy yet?

A tree saves its energy and resources to wait out the winter. Those suffering from emptiness often aren’t interested in doing anything besides waiting out their season, even if they believe it will never end. Despite how much they need it, it’s hard to spend resources like time and energy to search for, schedule, and meet with a therapist (especially if they don’t even have the drive to pursue things they once loved.)

There is something important to remember about a season of emptiness, though: Unlike the trees, we have the power to decide that winter is over. With the right help, we can take a step towards growth and make our lives feel full again.

How can therapy help?

Therapy acts as a time of spring. Your therapist will help you address the internal or external cause that started your feelings of emptiness so you can feel and find motivation to live your life. Like a tree, you’ll naturally start to grow again, reaching toward things you love, nourishing yourself with selfcare, and watching yourself produce the fruits of your labor from that time in therapy.

Pausing in life isn’t a bad thing. It’s okay for winter to come sometimes, and it can even be healthy to take a break from the highs and lows to rest in a middle ground. The important thing is for therapy to help that pause be a healthy choice instead of an oppressive season.

If you’ve been feeling empty, or think that someone close to you may be suffering from emptiness, please reach out to me by booking a free consult. I’d be happy to help bring spring again!