How to Start Over in a Relationship When You Live Together

Relationships are complex and ever-evolving journeys and it’s essential to know how to start a relationship over. Relationships are not always linear, and couples often encounter challenges and roadblocks along the way. Sometimes, in order to keep moving forward and strengthen their bond, couples may need to hit the reset button and start over. This can be especially challenging when living together, as the shared space can amplify tensions and make it difficult to navigate through the process. In today’s guide, we hope people find information that they can take forward to improve their relationships (romantic or otherwise!). 

Firstly, it is important to recognize when starting over a relationship is the right step. Relationships go through ups and downs, and over time, issues and conflicts can accumulate. Miscommunication, unresolved conflicts, and unmet expectations can strain the relationship, leading to a sense of stagnation or even distance between partners. By starting over, couples can break free from negative patterns, heal wounds, and rebuild trust and intimacy.

When living together, starting over requires a joint commitment and a shared understanding of the need for a fresh start. Open and honest communication is crucial during this process. Sit down with your partner and express your feelings, concerns, and desires. Listen attentively to their perspective as well. Acknowledge the issues that have caused strain and discuss what both of you envision for the future of your relationship because this honest conversation sets the foundation for the restart.

Once you have established open communication, it is essential to reflect on the past and learn from it. Identify the patterns, behaviors, and habits that contributed to the challenges in your relationship. Take responsibility for your part in those difficulties and express your willingness to change; encourage your partner to do the same. By owning your mistakes and learning from them, you can both grow individually and as a couple.

Forgiveness is another crucial aspect of starting over - holding onto grudges and resentment will only hinder the progress of the relationship. Practice forgiveness, both towards yourself and your partner. Of course, this doesn't mean dismissing or forgetting past hurts, but rather, it involves consciously choosing to let go of the negative emotions associated with them. Forgive, but also establish healthy boundaries to prevent history from repeating itself.

If possible, creating a new vision for your relationship is an integral part of starting over. Take the time to discuss and set goals together. What do you both want to achieve individually and as a couple? How do you want your relationship to evolve? Setting clear objectives and envisioning a future filled with love, growth, and shared experiences can reignite the spark and enthusiasm in your relationship.

Starting over also involves rebuilding trust. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship (and the best part of being in a relationship), and when it has been compromised, it takes time and effort to restore. Be patient with one another and allow trust to grow gradually. Follow through on your commitments, be reliable, and demonstrate trustworthiness through your actions. Trust is a fragile entity, but with consistent effort, it can be rebuilt and even strengthened.

Lastly, seek professional help if needed. Sometimes, couples may find it challenging to navigate the process of starting over on their own. Seeking the guidance of a relationship therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and tools to facilitate the restart. A neutral third party can help both partners communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and develop strategies for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. What’s more, you may have individual challenges that need to be overcome. For example, you may need boundaries counseling, perfectionism counseling, or a burnout therapist in Minnesota. 

Not all relationships are simple and linear - go through the process that your relationship requires and come out the other side a healthier couple.